It’s already 12:14am in the morning, and I’m extremely tired after a long day. It’s been a long time since i typed in, and i just wanted to do some reflection of what I’m going through these few months.
I am being accepted into St. Andrew Junior college and on my way to university. Of course, i know that this 2 years would be an arduous journey with lots of obstacles in my way, but nevertheless, i will try my best to succeed with flying colours.
However, how ironically is that, recently, I’m addicted to a Korean variety show called “Running Man”. I’ve been spending hours watching this variety show instead of studying. I know my actions of doing so could potentially cause me great harm academically but I just can’t stop watching it! Ahh, I hope that maybe someday I can really stop myself all together and go full force in my academics.
Next, due to the influence I got from “Running Man”, I’ve been imagining things regarding the love issue. I don’t need a perfect relationship to begin with. I just want a relationship that is stupidly immature. The girl plays with me and is willing to listen to me when I’m down. I want a relationship that we can make fun of each other, but knowing our limits. I think that’s kinda sweet(:
And and I want to be the girl’s center of attraction, whereby I’m the first one she thinks of when she need something, when she is lost, or when she is just feeling bored.
All of a sudden, I wish I could be a good man that’s being classified as ‘好男人’ by my friends.
That’s what I aspire to become, but of course, I also aspire being a successful person other than being character-wise inclined.
I wish to treat my girlfriend well and make the people around us jealous of our relationship. I find it cute somehow^^.
Of course, I’m not doing all these romantic stuffs just to gain attention from the others or to use my relationship to make my friends envy of me. That’ll be to hypocritical to do so.
But I’m truly inspired but my sister’s friend’s boyfriend who is extremely responsible and often dotes on his girlfriend, making her feel so bliss being with him. One day, I wish I could make my girlfriend feel that way too(:
“
Sec 4, finally graduated.
Hmm, I shall skip all those Hi,-long-time-never-post blahblahs and get right into the thing I wanna reflect about.
I just had my prom night and it was fantastic.. but a little costly. Apparently, that night drilled a hole in my pocket and I wasted $189 on my whole outfit. But I would say ITS TOTALLY WORTH IT!
Its important to me because for once, I could finally stand just right in front of her and hopefully make her think that, “wow, he can actually be like this”. I don’t know if this actually did crossed her mind but I’m already rather contented.
Recently, I’ve watch <The apple of my eye> twice in the cinema. It was really a great movie. It taught me a lot of thing and made me reflect upon what is my perspective towards the people I really like. The most important thing I’ve learnt is to put all my heart into a relationship (Hopefully I would get into one) and don’t ask for any return-favour. Even if eventually we broke up, I wish that she would one day look back and wonder about this question, “Why didn’t the guys I met court me like how Zicong did?”
And it also taught me how to let things flow and not just force the person whom I like to like me back and really get emotional about her denial of me. That’s just a stupid possesive act. If she’s not into me, she’s not into me. As long as she’s happy(:
Love, friendship. The difference is a lifetime of distance.
“
Disappointed.
I was rather disappointed with my preliminary results. I think I had put in quite substantial amount of hardwork, but my result tells me otherwise. I’m not born smart perhaps? Some of my friends hadn’t put in near to half of my effort but they are still scoring tops in the chart. I just felt really disappointed in myself and felt that my future is so bleak. My O levels are coming in less than 2 months time, and i had so many subjects to pull up. It just seems to me that my dream of going to a reputable JC has been shattered, let alone going to University.
Next, i’m rather sentimental recently and I can feel sadness seeping into my heart whenever i think of something sad. (this has rarely occurred). With all these things come crushing down on me emotionally, i felt rather upset with myself and the life i’m leading. I just wish O level could end quickly and let me do things that i had longed to do. Meanwhile, I don’t wish O level to come quickly as it probably would mean disappointment to my results yet again. I’m determined not to let it happen again, but I just couldn’t help comparing with my fellow friends. Come on, Zicong, you can do it, teach the people who despise you a hard lesson. (I hope i really can.)
We are homesick most for the places we have never known.
~ Carson McCullers
I didn’t know polishing the nails of the more infulential people was so important to you. Call me biased in my views or unfactual in my accusations, but you know it deep down from your heart.
“
Chemisery.
The cohort results made a quiet announcement to our batch through the notice board. My result was distasteful to began with. However, i did made significant improvement from my previous test. I was stamped on my head with a fail in Chemistry.
Well, I thought I would get a pass this time round, given my various initiatives to do more practices. I got 47 out of 100, 3 marks short from the prestigious line that divides the students between passes and failures. More than half of the cohort was below 50, averaging at about 48. The markers killed us, not the paper i assume.
My beloved class, 4D, have seen the most number of failures in the entire cohort. It was just plain unsightful to see the average chemistry result of my class. My classmates like Fiona, Edward and many more did not even bother to study for their papers. I suddenly felt that they’ve just (intentionally or not) signed their future away.
Having a degree in Singapore is a must, not an option, at least this mentality applies to me. I can boldly say that I have nothing to regret about even if I failed Chemistry. I’ve worked hard and I did improve (even though jumping 20 level positions wasn’t really something to call as an significant improvement.) But I guess one has to be patient for their fruitous reward in the end.
This Preliminary Exam just proves that I still have a lot to work on despite improvements. It doesn’t mean the end of the world. I’m positive that if I could complete with an outstanding sprint towards the national examination date, I could well secure a few As for my subjects. Starting with these little improvements..
